My life according to Google

My life according to Google; Type in the following and choose from the first description found.... Be honest, don't just pick one out to be funny! (PS I am avoiding paper work at the moment)

I sense a plant theme somehow...

1: Type in "[name] needs" in the Google search:
During winter when your heat is on, many ferns need misting.

2: Type in "[name] looks like" in Google search:
Looks like a fern but is not, what is it?

3: Type in "[name] hates" in Google search:
My mom hates the name Fern. (no kidding!!!!!)

4: Type in "[name] goes" OR "[name] has gone" in Google search:
Little Ferns for Fanny's Little Friends. Now her husband has gone, and she sits down and covers her face with her hands, and weeps.

5: Type in "[name] loves" in Google search:
It's our love fern! Oh, Bennie-boo-boo, boo-boo

6: Type in "[name] eats" in Google search:
What eats a fern? caterpillars.

7: Type in "[name] has" in Google search:
Fern has a Flatshare, House Share for rent in Singapore.3 bed-rooms walk-up apartment - 2nd floor, 1600sqft - Peaceful environment. Lovely green compound surrounded by pine trees. - Private stairway
(Dream. PInes in Singapore though? Where?)

8: Type in "[name] works" in Google search:
Fernworks, Art and Resin Jewelry Handmade by Faryn Davis.

9: Type in"[name] lives" in Google search:
Find For All Their Lives by Fern Michaels (1991) in the Books category. (cheesy romance i bet)

10: Type in "[name] died" in Google search:
I have a dead fern hanging outside my front door. Why you ask? Well, it used to be alive. And at some point, birds decided to make a nest out of it. The fern died eventually and, without thinking, I took it down to throw it away. I was inside, looking out the window, and saw these birds flying around looking for it. I felt so bad! I went out and grabbed the fern that I had placed by the trash, and hung it back up. Now I get to watch the birds flying in and out of the fern as I sit at my desk looking out the window. The fern looks like crap, but the birds are cute.

11.Type in "[name] does" in Google search:
Fern Britton is causing a bit of a storm with her latest fashion choice - but we've discovered it's not the first time.

12: Type in "[name] will" in Google search:
Ostrich fern will tolerate some sun in northerly zone drained, acidic soil.

13.Type in "[name] is" in Google search:
Since ferns reproduce from spores, this law is not applicable to cultivated fern varieties.

Somehow not as many on plants as I thought. Sigh. I do like number 6 and 10. ^^